The Lessons of my Daughters

On this Thanksgiving Day, I'm taking a detour from my regular blog posts. I typically use this blog to share happy, adorable pictures of Lily and there will be some of those. However, I have recently felt compelled to share a bit of my thoughts on what this time of year means to me, which is something different this year than years in the past.

This year, I come up on the one-year-mark since the stillbirth of my second daughter, Grace. In 2009, on the day before Thanksgiving, we discovered Grace was fighting for her life. We spent the next two weeks in a fog, attending several doctors' visits in what ultimately ended in a battle we lost. On December 10, 2009, Grace was born still and my life has never been the same.

The past year has been a struggle, and yet they have also contained some of the most fun days of my life with Lily. My thoughts have been up and down - how can I be sad when I have a huge blessing wrapped up in a 3-foot package - and how can I be so happy when I'm missing so much? I've realized I have learned so much from both of my daughters and from this emotional roller coaster I've been on.

And so, this year, I am most thankful for the lessons I have learned from my daughters...

Lessons from Lily -

* try to maintain a sunny disposition, but know who to turn to if you're feeling blue

* take time to swing as high as you can, and do the other little things that can make you happy

* have patience - Lily had to sit through several sessions this year of me saying, "Just one more picture and then we're done!" including the session above - her 3-year-old patience is a reminder that I can be patient too

* enjoy the holidays and special times of year - there's only one time Lily will be 3 in the fall
* move around - Lily rarely sits still. She's playing soccer, dancing, running, wiggling, bouncing around at gymnastics (above). I started running this fall and truly feel better for it.

* spend time with friends - Isn't everyone a little bit happier when they're doing something fun with friends?!
* run! - Enough said on that one. Oh yeah, and smile when you're doing it!

Lessons from Grace -
* life is short, live it to the fullest - One of my new favorite things to do each day now is, at the end of the day, talk about at least one thing we did that was fun. Life's too short to not do something fun everyday.

* it's okay to lean on others - This wasn't always easy, but definitely necessary. I was amazed at how much friends and family supported me and am still amazed. I hope I can return the favor for all of them.

* happiness and sadness can co-exist - I've learned it's okay to be sad when you feel happy, and be happy in spite of sadness. I feel blessed to have Lily as much as I am sad to have lost Grace.

* a heart can hold all kinds of love - Before I was pregnant with Grace I thought I could never love another child as much as I love Lily. Grace has shown me my heart holds enough love for Lily, Grace and, with luck, any future children I have.

* you're stronger than you think - I never felt strong, but I also had to carry on. Lily needed me, and Grace needed to see that her mommy was going to be okay.

* know love - Grace never knew sadness, or pain, or heartbreak. But I hope she knew my love. I know I have felt the love from family and friends and been stronger for it.

Thank you Lily and Grace for making me the mother and woman I am today. Everything I do is for you, my daughters.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.